Many of my readers on my psalmist blog know that I am currently going through cancer treatment for Multiple Myeloma, a form of blood born cancer in the Leukemia family. I was diagnosed in March of this year, and am going through an aggressive treatment program at the University of Iowa. I had one stem cell transplant, with my own stem cells, in June, and will have a second one starting in 2 weeks. Their success rate is incredible, but it really takes a toll on he body. We decided to go this way rather than milder treatment because I was in pretty good health to begin with.
The first transplant went well, and I had very few side effects that were warned about. I felt God was very merciful to me, and give Him all he glory for he fairly easy road I had to get through that first transplant. But it was not without a glitch. I woke up 8 days after the transplant, and my right arm would not work! I had no pain, it just would not go anywhere from the shoulder. I could move it below the elbow, as long as I didn’t try to reach out or up with the rest of my arm. But no pain!
I had injured my shoulder about 5 years ago scraping the eaves of my house. I pulled the ligaments really bad and had intense pain when I moved the arm. I could move it, but did not want to. This time, I can’t move it, but there is no pain. The physical therapist at the hospital said it was a re-occurrence of my old injury, and that this can happen with an shoulder, so she put me on some exercises.
To make a long story short, we still don’t have a definitive answer as to why the shoulder is not working. It’s like a switch turned off and just needs to be turned on again. Strange.
Here’s a thought that I have had, and this is where the title question comes in. I am feeling terrific other than my arm. I have good strength, walking 1-2 miles a day (more than I walked before this started). My appetite is good, and I am in very good spirits. If not for this arm, I would hardly know I had cancer (except for the lack of hair on my head).
So I have been thinking that perhaps God, in His infinite wisdom, has allowed the shoulder to be hindered to keep me from doing too much! Because I know me! If this shoulder was working properly, I would be going as much as I could. Even though I have to wear a mask when I am outside, I would be out in the yard picking up branches and twigs, I would be helping more around the house. And that would not be good, as I would most likely wear myself out.
So my all knowing, all loving, all seeing God has allowed a stumbling-block in my life to keep me from harming myself. Is that possible? I must say that I am praising Him for His wisdom, although I sure would like to have the arm back and functioning. I known He is able to heal me in a heartbeat, and I am hoping the switch turns back on sometime soon. I await His timing!
I welcome your feedback.