Sometimes I Just Wonder Why.

I awoke this morning at five with a few words in my head.  As usual, I knew God was speaking a new verse into my spirit, so I rolled off the bed and grabbed my phone (the modern day note pad beside the bed).  I opened up my email and created a new message – to myself.  I sat back down on the side of the bed and just started typing as the words came to me:

To be ever in His presence
To be always by His side
This Is what I long for
This is my desire

I reflected on these words for a few moments and laid back down on the bed, phone in hand.  This is my heart’s cry!  To be with Him in good times and bad, in hurting and in joy, in the midst of the storm and when all is peaceful.  He filled me with the truth of these words, then I started to hear His voice again, and started typing more.  And more.  10 minutes later, the song was done.

This is how God works with my poetry and songs.  Every one of them comes just like this.  It is rare I only get a piece and then go back and finish it (although once in a while that does happen).  It just pours into me from His voice and within my spirit, and I do my best to capture the words exactly as He dictates.

When, I finally got up and dressed, I was ready to post this piece, which is called “Settled By His Grace”.  I started reading it back to myself and broke down weeping at the words God had given me.  And I just started to wonder why?

I am not anybody special.  I am a sinner saved by grace.  He has been so merciful to me throughout my life.  Far from perfect, in fact not even in the same vicinity as perfect.  I falter daily trying to follow Him.  I am an unknown in this world.  My poetry is posted here and on my Facebook page regularly as He directs me.  Many followers, few readers, some likes.

Many have said they are masterpieces.  That is because the Master gives the words.  Many have said they are blessed by the words.  That is because God brings a blessing.
Many have commented they sang along with the poem as they read it.  That is because God puts a song in their heart.
Many have encouraged me to keep writing.  God keeps giving the words.

I think it’s natural to ask “Why me, God?”  Why do you give these songs to me?  These poems?  These words of praise? These words of encouragement to the body of Christ?  Is it simply for the few dozen that see them where I post them?  Is it simply for my comfort?  Or is there a greater purpose?

My piano teacher is convinced that if these songs God gave me could reach the right eyes and ears, it would not be long they would be all over the airwaves.  My best friend agrees.  My pastor and my congregation agree.  My wife is flabbergasted by the steady stream of words that God puts into my heart.  It is humanly unexplainable.

Many have said it’s simply that I listen.  I listen for His voice and write what He says.  Can it really be that simple?  If so, I am thankful He gave me ears to hear.  If so, I am awed by His choice of me as a vessel.  If so, then let His will be done in all of this.  I will remain a conduit through which He can speak to you and others.

I will continue to listen.  I will continue to write His words.  By His grace, I pray he will continue to give them to me.  By His mercy, they will be posted on my poetry blog as often as He gives them.  (If you are not on my poetry blog, you can find it here).

For now, here is the whole song he gave me this morning – “Settled In His Grace.”  I pray it is a blessing to you.

My days can get so lonely
When I try to walk alone
But there’s no reason this should be the case
He promised to be with me
Until the very end
I’ll daily set my eyes to see His face

He’s with me in my spirit
I must listen carefully
His voice is calling out most every day
He wants a conversation
He wants my company
He wants to walk with me and guide my way

To be ever in His presence
To be always by His side
This Is what I long for
This is my desire
Walking close beside Him
Step by step each day
Hearing words of hope
Settled in His grace

The sweet sweet love of Jesus
Is always there for me
In good times and in bad He’s always near
By faith I feel His presence
My spirit knows His breath
When I remember this I’ll never fear

To be ever in His presence
To be always by His side
This Is what I long for
This is my desire
Walking close beside Him
Step by step each day
Hearing words of hope
Settled in His grace

Knowing Him
Loving Him
Praising Him
Hearing Him
All I need
He provides
Ever present
In my life

To be ever in His presence
To be always by His side
This Is what I long for
This is my desire
Walking close beside Him
Step by step each day
Hearing words of hope
Settled in His grace