A Heavenly Relationship

²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

“As the Church is subject unto Christ!”  Let me see.  Christ ministered to the church and still does.  Christ cared so much for the church He gave His life.  Christ would never do anything to harm the church in any way.  Christ only wants to see the church grow and flourish in this age, and for ages to come.  Christ nurtures the church, instructs the church, provides for the church, sanctifies the church, protects the church, loves the church.  I would think any wife who has a husband that fulfills these things would  be happy to submit to him.

Submission does not mean subservient.  It does not mean she is the maid.  It does not mean the husband can run roughshod over her.  It will never mean he can harm her in any way – emotionally, physically or mentally.  Submit means that when a major disagreement comes up, the husband has the final say, as long as the interests of both parties are served by that decision.  The marriage as a whole needs to be the benefactor.  So If the argument is over buying a boat verses fixing a hole in the roof, the roof wins every time.  Sorry guys, your toys are not always important to the marriage as a whole. Yes, you guys are the  head of the marriage, but you  are not tyrants.  You are partners, and she is your helper.  If you are anything like me, you underestimate her ability to contribute. I am still learning  after 38 years just  how valuable she is in that role.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

²⁶ That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

²⁷ That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

It always amazes me that three times the scripture says husbands should love their wives, but nowhere does it say wives should love their husbands.  I still do not have that figured out.  My only thought is that women have a natural compassion build into the, and most men need to be prodded to have that emotion come out.  Maybe it’s because men are more likely to be self-centered and prideful, and women are more likely to be others-centered and humble.

The admonition is to treat the women with the love Christ has for the4 church.  Men should treat their wives in a way that they will be glorious!  That there will not be a scar, emotional or physical, on their body or soul.  And that they would be holy and without blemish.  I wish I could go back in time and redo a lot of things in my marriage.  I have  done emotional harm to my wife in the past.  Yelling, accusations, mistrust and putting down was not uncommon, and I so regret it.  I have learned that she is my most valuable asset, and I honor her.

²⁸ So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

²⁹ For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

³⁰ For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

Just as we are members of Christs, body, flesh and bones, so is our wife members with us.  If she hurt, we should hurt.  If she has a concern, it should be our concern.  If she has plans, we should honor those plans.  If she has dreams, we should help her reach those dreams.  We should help her as we would help ourselves, treat her as we would want to be treated,  Hmmm…sounds a lot like the golden rule, doesn’t it?  She is a part of us.

³¹ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

³² This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

³³ Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

To  those men that still cling to their Mom’s, opinion, there mom’s cooking, their Dad’s idea of success, – anything of their parents before marriage, stop today and reset.  She is your wife now.  Your parents no longer should be making any decisions for your family.  You and your wife should make those decisions.  Same thing for the wives.  You cannot serve two masters!